best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
