Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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