I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
