four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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