I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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