I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
