u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
