So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
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while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
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