I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
