If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
