Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize