Sorry, I don't speak sober.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
