You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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