Whatcha textin bout Willis?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
