im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
