I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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