Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
