So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
