They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
