I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
