Where is the hickey?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
