I think about you every night.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do you have feelings for this penis?