it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
17 People Who Prepared For Spring Break The Right Way
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.