trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
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I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.