I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I havenâ€™t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.