Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.