NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
