People with herpes should wear stickers.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
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