After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
