good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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