Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
