You smell like stripper and shame
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
