You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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