wat bout pragnant strippers??
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
