she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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