I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
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I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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