One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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