Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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