Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
