just tell him i said nine months
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We're too hungover to prance.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize