how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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