Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
