i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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