i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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