Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
