i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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