So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
