finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize