you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
