I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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