And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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