i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
