Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
