So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
accomplished twins. life is a go
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize