White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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