if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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