Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
