so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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