I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
