My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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