SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I enjoy the company of your penis
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
