She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
