Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
