We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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