You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.