i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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