Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good