Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
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Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.