i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
