Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
